POÉTICAS PERSONALES: ISABEL YAP

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How was your discovery and first approach to reading and books?

I always loved reading. I was fortunate in that my mother instilled in me a love of reading at an early age--she would read children’s books to me and my sister, and later on, my little brother--book series like Minnie and Me, Madeline, the Golden Goose books, and Berenstein Bears. When I entered kindergarten I realized that I also wanted to be able to read whenever I wanted to, so I quickly blew past “the cat in the mat” and started reading as much as I could. As a kid I read pretty much anything I could borrow from the library, and I requested books for my birthday and holidays as well. I read a lot of series: the Babysitters Club, the Bailey School Kids, Nancy Drew Kids, Sweet Valley Kids. I also loved fairytales. I remember borrowing the same volumes of fairytale books from the library each year: a series of tales from different cultures.

 

What would you consider the main reason of you becoming a reader?

I’ve already mentioned that my mom read to me. I loved how books really made me see things. I always had pictures, scenes, characters in my head. Reading allowed me to never be bored. I always carried a book around with me, and read every chance I could get (even at mealtimes, when I could get away with it). Writing this down now is making me feel a little emotional because these days I find it so difficult to read, to focus that way, to lose myself in a book. The closest I can get to it is probably when I’m reading on airplanes, because there’s no internet, and I can’t go anywhere.

Another, more internal reason why I became a reader is because I have a strong tendency towards loneliness. I’m not sure why. I think a lot of writers and poets I know have this innately. Reading stories by a good author, who can accurately capture the human experience, makes me feel less alone. It’s a kind of magic to me. I didn’t think about this too consciously when I was younger, but I believe it made me want to eventually do the same for others through writing.

 

What was the thing/feeling/theme that provoked you to choose your first book to read?

I don’t remember the specific books I was reading in kindergarten--really it was whatever I could get my hands on!--but I remember a period in first and second grade when I discovered Judy Blume and Paula Danziger and fell in love with stories that centered the experiences of being a girl: all your friendships, fears, the strangeness of inhabiting this body, your insecurities and anxieties. Their characters were preteens and teenagers, so I was younger than them, but there was something both awful and compelling in what I saw as my probable future, reflected in their stories.

 

Have you any ritual/preference/method specific to reading?

Not currently. I do actively have to prioritize it. For the last two years I’ve been reading before bed mostly; I also alternate between podcasts and audiobooks, which allows me to finish a few more books a year than I would otherwise. I read a lot when I travel because of the focus on a plane or train, but obviously that hasn’t happened recently. Reading has felt like something I have to work at. But the conscious effort is worth it. It adds so much to my life, and enables my writing.

 

What are you currently reading and what lead you to this text?

I’m currently reading On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, by the poet Ocean Vuong. I had the book in storage for most of the pandemic, and recently moved and finally had the chance to read it. I loved Ocean’s poetry collection, Night Sky with Exit Wounds, so I was pretty sure I would enjoy this novel as well. The precision on the sentence level is amazing, the depth of scene, and the playfulness of form are all things I’ve been seeking in my reading material these days. Simultaneously I’m listening to Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner. They’re both pretty heavy texts, and not at all like what I’m writing (which is a secondary world fantasy), but I’ve been seeking out stories with strong emotional cores these days.

 

In your writing practice, which author/book has had the most influence in your own work and why?

There are five fanfic authors who’ve influenced my style tremendously. I can’t share their names because I’d like to keep my fandom identity separate and that might be a clue, but more than any published author, these fic writers have really impacted me. I read them at different times growing up, absorbing their style of prose, dialogue, and characterization. They all wrote for a spread of fandoms too, but something about their cadence, the way they shaped their lines, really got under my skin as a young writer. Around seventh grade I remember there was a distinct “jump” where I learned to write stories that had more resonance, and that was largely due to really stewing in the style of one author.

For published works--the first poetry collection of Richard Siken, Crush, has been a consistent touchstone for me. And for original short fiction the most influential author for me has been Kelly Link, in particular her collection Pretty Monsters.

 

How do you came to choose the genre of your books and writing?

I used to think I came to writing genre fiction opportunistically. When I was first trying to publish original fiction, the venues in the Philippines that had openings for previously unpublished writers were for speculative fiction. At that time I sort of wrote original stories “to spec”--meaning, only if there was an obvious place to submit to. Then the first fiction workshop I was accepted into in the US was Clarion, which is also geared towards genre writing. So I learned the specifics of how to get published in the science fiction and fantasy field.

 

Do you consider yourself a genre writer and why?

I do, because I write fantasy and science fiction and horror. And by some definitions (in publishing, especially) those are considered “genres” distinct from the shelves of “Fiction” in a bookstore. I understand from a marketing perspective that it helps to group things in this way: it’s a shortcut for readers in a store, so they can easily find things they like reading. And I don’t mind the label too much myself, except when it’s used to create some kind of division between different types of writing and their perceived values. In my experience writing is more enjoyable when you can experiment, try different things, and not worry so much about where you’ll fit or how you’ll be marketed. I wish we allowed ourselves the grace to play like that more, and enjoy writing whatever stories we feel called to.

 

Which literary character has made a mark on your own character-building and how?

Wow! This is a tricky one. Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle comes to mind--he’s wonderfully written, flawed and charming and delightful all at once, and so deeply human as well. I’m not sure how to explain that last quality--deeply human. To me it means a character that doesn't feel puppeted around by the author, and has emotions or feelings that are recognizable. They also act in ways that are believable and not just plot-convenient. Howl gets drunk, he gets sick, he cries because he doesn’t like his hair, and he can’t help hurting the person he cares most about. He puts on airs to hide his fear and loneliness. All of those make him very endearing.

 

How does the writing of your first published work happened?

Back in 2008, there was an open call for the anthology “Philippine Speculative Fiction IV.” There weren’t other requirements besides submitting a speculative story, meaning you didn’t need to have any other credits as an author. I wrote a story about a mysterious woman who also might have been a storm; it was a story carried more by language than plot or theme, because I was still learning what it meant to write original fiction then. I’m very grateful the editors, Dean and Nikki Alfar, accepted the story. It was gratifying to have my work included with other Filipino authors, and I’ll always remember how proud and awed I felt during our book launch.

 

If you could re-write your first published work, would you change anything in the way you wrote it?

I don’t think so. In general I tend to think kindly upon my older work, and the me that wrote them--because she was trying her best in that time, doing the best with what she knew and could do. When I first starting publishing stories I used to worry that part of what made my work good was some level of novelty, because I was quite young--a university freshman. I don’t know where I got the notion, but I started to feel like some of my worth came from being a younger writer. Now that I’m older and have been publishing for almost 15 years, I realize that I should have just been happy and grateful to have had that experience. It gave me some confidence and momentum that there was an audience for my work. I sometimes forget this (I suspect this is true for most writers), but these days I try to more conscientiously hold onto that fact. Part of that means being grateful for what I’m able to do as a writer at any given point.

 

 

Do you have any ritual/preference/method specific to writing?

It changes depending on the project. I’ve found my process changed a lot while trying to write a novel. I used to write mostly on weekends for several hours at a time; now I write more regularly (5 days a week), but only for 30 minutes usually. My brain can’t seem to do more than that. I also tend to journal quite a bit about the writing before and after actually writing. It helps me to understand what I’m thinking/feeling about the work itself, and it’s useful to look back on it. When I’m really stuck I also try writing by hand to dislodge things.

 

How was your entry to the publishing world?

I think I’ve had a pretty kind entry into the publishing world, in that I never really had to do it alone. In the Philippines I was part of the literary community at my school, especially through the college literary folio. In the US I started publishing after attending the Clarion workshop, so I had a cohort of other writers and mentors that I could see and spend time with at conventions and conferences. My story collection was published after I’d already been in the spec community for about eight years, so I was lucky to have friends and colleagues I could lean on and ask questions of, when things were making me anxious. Despite all of that it’s still been really challenging at times! I’m grateful for the family and friends that have kept me sane and grounded all this time.

 

How do you imagine the publishing industry in the next years?

I’m excited by the work that’s going to come out, by the possibilities that are starting to open up more for marginalized writers. We’ve always been present, and always been trying to tell our stories, but I feel like there are more openings now, and the more of these stories get published the more it lets readers and future writers see what’s possible. I do think building community can be a bit more challenging, given how hard it is to navigate social media and having an online identity these days. That worries me a little--authors striking that balance between connecting with readers and the public, while also not allowing that to affect the work and process too much. It’s something most creatives I know struggle with to some degree, and I’m not sure how all that is ultimately going to develop.

 

Given the future of the publishing industry, how do you think the way you write and the way your work is received will change?

It’s hard for me to say! I think my writing is constantly changing, but I’m not sure how much of that is shaped by the publishing industry versus just being a facet of my own evolving sense of self and what I’m trying to do as a writer. If I feel external pressure, it’s mostly a sense of wanting to do a good job and live up to the imagined expectations my readers have--because I’m so grateful for their interest and support, and I don’t want to let them down. But I also try to remember that I can’t please everyone. If I’m earnestly trying, that’s the best I can do. As for how the reception to my work will change…I’m not sure, but I hope that the new themes and plots I’m trying to work through will be of interest to people. And I sincerely hope that there will be more readers, with each successive work. I think so far my stories and my books have been discovered primarily by word of mouth, which I’m really grateful for! It’s my biggest wish that the stories just get to find more readers that need them. :)

 

What is the legacy you are trying to achieve?

I’ve had a fascination with death for many years, and it’s something that occupies my thoughts a lot--always sort of lurking there. I’ve always feared more the death of my loved ones than my own death. At the same time, one of the things that keeps me going is the idea that I still have stories left to write, that I want to share with people. I like to think that some of the stories I have in me can be that story for someone else--something that will give them hope, or make them feel seen, or let them know that their own stories are worth telling. I’ve already heard from a few readers that this is true, and I want to just keep doing that for people. I don’t fear death, but before I die I hope I get to tell as many of those stories as possible.

 

What would you advice to a brand new author that regards you as an inspiration?

I would say that the steps to writing and publishing are simple but difficult. It’s to write, finish, edit, and (if you are seeking publication) submit. All of those steps are critical, and you get better at them through practice. Writing a lot is important; you have to try many different things, and follow where your interests and obsessions lead you. I would recommend trying to build up on what you love in the work of other authors. I don’t mean copying, but writing to explore similar themes, or writing in a prose style that is similar to that author. These were things I did a lot of early on in my writing practice. Be kind to yourself and make sure that you take care of your health (I need to get better at this too). Writing is difficult even at the best of times, and it is an activity that takes up a lot of energy. Lastly, I would encourage you not to give up! As much as writing can be painful, it has also been one of the greatest treasures of my life, and has sustained me through some challenging times. I hope you find the worth and joy in the work, and that you stick with it for a long time.

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